Midwife Pip Podcast Episode 82.
Oh motherhood, you think your prepared and then it actually happens and wow it is a rollercoaster. There seems to be a taboo around sharing how we actually feel during motherhood, and it is important we normalise the spectrum of emotions we may feel as we navigate our new roles as mothers. This week I am joined by Anna Mathur @annamathur where we discuss the juggle of mum life amongst guilt, loneliness and overwhelm to name a few emotions.
The Undiscussed Emotions of Motherhood
Burnout and Overwhelm… two emotions I have honestly felt more in Motherhood than ever before in life and the more mums I speak with the more this is a theme running through all our mum brains. This is why we need to start talking about, recognising and acting upon these emotions.
How do you know if you are overwhelmed or burnt out?
We may respond in different ways- being irritable and snappy with your children or partner or tearing up and crying from small things that usually wouldn’t impact you. Or perhaps post bedtime you retreat into an extra glass (or two) of wine. I am a self-confessed sweet tooth addict so for me it is when the chocolate bars start flowing, I know there are unaddressed emotions boiling up. All of these are your body’s flight response and when we are in this overwhelmed state we simply cannot function as the best version of ourselves.
I see my optimal space as a balance between the Mary Poppins type, perfect and highly unrealistic ideological mother and the Hulk- a less than desirable and highly overwhelmed and burnt-out version of motherhood. Somewhere in between sits this happy balanced whereby our needs are met and feelings of burn out are kept at bay.
Do Stress and Anxiety in Pregnancy affect the Baby?
The truth is being in a state of anxiety, stress and overwhelm is not only bad for us but it is equally as negative for those around us, or in fact inside us.
During pregnancy scientists have been looking into the impact of maternal stress on a developing baby and have found that babies are impacted by stress, anxiety, and depression in their mothers.
Fascinatingly it has been found to impact a baby’s immune response and has been linked to development of conditions such as Asthma. To learn more about this link and to understand ways of managing feelings of stress read on here: www.aptaclub.co.uk/midwifepip
Top Tips to managing Overwhelm and Burn Out in Motherhood:
Know that- a meal or a shower are NOT self care, these acts are simply our basic needs. Needs which those in prison for unimaginable offenses get daily without question. Yet as a mother we consider sitting down to eat or cleaning ourselves a luxury… we need to change this and recognise self care is something beyond your basic human rights. A coffee with a friend, a walk, time to read a book… the extra little things we can implement daily that make us feel good.
Learn to ask for help and to say no. If your like me then both of these things feel very uncomfortable to do but the reality is the modern day societal expectations on mothers do not match our biological needs or that of our children. We can do anything, but we cannot do everything and when we do try to do it all, ultimately everyone suffers.
Write it down, whether it is a to-do list or thoughts and feelings getting it on paper can feel like offloading. Then recognise what is really important and what your mind has just convinced you is important… often there is a big difference.
Let’s keep motherhood real, less of the perfect airbrushed images and more of the raw realities as the more it is seen the more we realise there is an army of us out there with the same challenges and we are all showing up each day and being amazing mothers to our little ones even if we don’t realise it at that time.
For more on ‘The Undiscussed Emotions of Motherhood’ listen to Midwife Pip Podcast Episode 82 HERE.
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"This week I am joined by Anna Mathur @annamathur where we discuss the juggle of mum life amongst guilt, loneliness and overwhelm to name a few emotions..."
'Undiscussed Emotions of Motherhood'
p.s. have you checked out Midwife Pips Courses
The Author: Midwife Pip
Pip is a Mum, Podcaster and practicing Midwife in the UK, currently working as a Delivery Suite Sister she has a wealth of experience supporting parents-to-be through all aspects of pregnancy, birth and the postpartum. Pip has trained and worked in some of the leading maternity units, has completed a master's programme and is passionate about all aspects of women's health and wellness.
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