A little backstory (Trigger Warning: PPD and anxiety): I gave birth to my first daughter Sienna, back in 2019. I was induced due to baby's reduced movements. Although I thought my birth was overall a positive one, a couple of things happened that left me with a bit of birth trauma. 4 months after giving birth I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety and I was looked after the Perinatal Team at my local hospital.
Pregnancy (Trigger warning: Intrusive Thoughts-Anxiety) Both my husband and I wanted to have another baby and grow our family more so around August (2021) we decided to start trying for another baby. We were very shocked (in a good way) to find out that I was pregnant the next month (sending lots of love to everyone who is trying to convince).
I only suffered with some mild morning sickness during the first trimester and horrible heartburn towards the end of the pregnancy. Apart from that, I have to say that I had a very "easy" pregnancy. I stayed active throughout the whole pregnancy and I ate a more balanced diet than my first pregnancy which really helped me. Physiologically everything was great, however, when the second trimester started I started having really intrusive thoughts that something really bad would happen to my baby. I suffered from horrible nightmares and I did not want to go to sleep as I was afraid of what I would dream of. These thoughts and dreams became so overwhelming that I started being really scared and anxious of giving birth. After talking to my midwife about it, she suggested to meet with the Perinatal Team again. I was looked after the Perinatal Team once more, due to my previous mental health struggles. The Perinatal Team suggested to meet with the head midwife of Birth Reflections as well-where you can discuss about your birth and see your previous birth notes- and talk about what "went wrong" in my previous birth and how we can make this birth a more positive one. The midwife from Birth Reflections advised to do an antenatal course that combines hypnobirthing as well as proper medical information so I could be more informed around birth. I was also seen by a consultant to discuss whether I wanted to have a c section this time as did not enjoy the induction process with my first birth.